First of all, I don’t know how to tell you to pronounce “Turandot.” Opera critic people pronounce the “t” because it’s a Persian name, but in the opera they say Tour-an-dough because it’s in Italian. So good luck with that.

Turandot is a princess who is supposed to get married but would rather have her suitors executed. I think anyone who’s been on a blind date can appreciate that. She is mind numbingly beautiful, so suitors keep signing up for the challenge. If the suitor can answer three riddles, he gets to marry her. If not, he gets his head chopped off. Fair? Fair.

A Persian prince is about to be executed and a crowd has gathered to watch. It’s like Monday night football. In the frenzy, Timur, exiled Tartar king, is pushed to the ground and Liu, his slave girl, cries for help to protect him. Who should stumble upon them (not literally) but Calaf, the exiled Tartar prince. They are all disguised because of, you know, being exiled.

This happy little reunion is interrupted by the appearance of the doomed Persian prince. Turandot has the opportunity to save him, but doesn’t. He’s executed and his head goes on the curio shelf with all the others. Calaf thinks that’s kind of awesome and rings the gong announcing himself as the next suitor. Calaf is an idiot.

When Calaf’s turn comes, he miraculously answers all the riddles correctly. Turandot is pissed. Calaf is still an idiot so he says “if you discover my name by sunrise, you can go ahead and kill me.” Rumpelstiltskinesque hilarity ensues.

Things are looking good for Calaf until his father and Liu are dragged in. Liu insists that she alone knows the name, to protect Timur. Why is she so hot and bothered about protecting Timur? Because she is in love with Calaf, of course. So they torture her. When Turandot asks Liu what gives her such courage, Liu says “love.” Which Turandot finds irritating. She tells her minions to keep up the good work.

Afraid she will eventually be forced to tell, Liu grabs a dagger and kills herself. And then the sun rises.

Turandot and Calaf find themselves alone. Calaf tells her how cruel and heartless she is and then kisses her, despite her protests (about the kiss. She was probably in total agreement about the cruel and heartless part). Turandot then realizes that Calaf is not only an idiot, he is totally hot. He tells her his name, in case she still feels like killing him, and when the time comes to announce his name, she says his name is “love.”

Turandot was Puccini’s last opera and was unfinished when he died.  If he hadn’t finished the end, maybe he meant for Turandot to say “Calaf? Meh. Kill him.”