Natalie Dessay as Amina in the Met’s La Sonnambula

First, some housekeeping.

I’m giving the pronunciation of these opera titles because earlier in the season I was chatting up an acquaintance and was all proud of myself for knowing what was scheduled until she repeated the name of each opera correctly.

So I rapped all of “She’s Crafty” and it totally put her in her place.

Also, I am listening to Belle & Sebastian as I write this, so if my lyric tone comes off more Belle-y  than Bellini-y, you’ll know why. Why am I listening to Belle & Sebastian as I type? Same reason I do most things. I’m too lazy to get up and change it. And I like this song.

There. That’s the most housekeeping I’ve done all day.

In three shakes of a little lambs tail, the second-to-last HD live broadcast from the Met will be upon us. It’s La Sonnambula (la so-NAM- boo-la) and has nothing to do with a sonogram so don’t make the same mistake I did when talking to your opera friends, okay?

La Sonnambula is known for its lame plot. No really, it is. So the Met thought they’d shake things up a bit, because opera people are a fickle, finicky lot. They like their operas to be fresh! and! new! even though they were originally performed in 1831.

Here’s what it’s supposed to be about:

In a little Swiss village all full of brown fuzzy cows, a lovely young couple (Amina and Elvino) prepares for their wedding. There is, of course, a jilted lover (Lisa) because without a jilted lover it just wouldn’t be opera. It would be the periodic table. Which would make a lousy opera, no matter what Dr. Atomic has to say about it.

A stranger arrives (Count Rodolfo) who turns out to be the long lost lord of the manor in disguise. He stays at the inn, which is run by Lisa the Jilted Lover.

Lisa figures out who he is, and hits on him. She goes to his room and asks if he has everything he needs (go ahead and read between the lines, it’s opera after all). She also lets him know that the gig is up and the whole village is on the way to welcome him because long lost lords of the manor don’t come through town every day. He’s quite taken with her and things might have gone well for Lisa except just then they notice a ladder at the window. Lisa runs from the room, dropping her scarf. Well yes, OF COURSE the dropped scarf is important.

And then who should appear on the ladder? Amina.

It’s obvious to the count that Amina is sleepwalking. She’s going on and on about her love for Elvino, which is not the best way to get lucky with an out of town stranger. He thinks she’s cute and sweet and leaves through the window without waking her. She, still asleep, lies down on the bed. Which is a mistake.

The townspeople arrive all in a dither about greeting the count. For reasons best understood by the librettist, they think it’s okay to go on into his room. Where they find Amina. In his bed.

Things don’t look so good for Amina.

It gets worse. Just then Elvino arrives, escorted by Lisa who is all “in your face, sister!”  Everyone is singing at everyone else. Amina wakes up. She has no idea where she is or why everyone’s in such a twist. Elvino says he’ll never marry her, blah blah blah. Amina cries and Teresa, her foster mother and the owner of the local mill, tries to comfort her. In the process of comforting her, Teresa wraps Lisa’s scarf around her shoulders.

I have no idea why you should know that Teresa is the owner of the local mill.

Everyone rushes off and there are some scene changes.

In Act 2, the entire village has set off to the manor to see if Count Rodolfo will clear things up for them. Which makes perfect sense because OF COURSE  he will be honorable and tell the truth about why there was a young woman asleep in his bed. Those Swiss. They’re so remarkably neutral.

Amina and Elvino meet up and face off. They sing at each other for awhile. There is crying.

And then Elvino decides it might be a good idea to marry Lisa after all. They’re on their way to the church when Count Rodolfo arrives and asks what’s up. After hearing the story, he tells Elvino he’s making a big mistake. While Amina was indeed in his room, she was asleep. This is a lousy story and no one really believes him.

Teresa shows up and asks everyone to pipe down because Amina has finally fallen asleep. And then she asks Elvino and Lisa where they’re off to all happy-like.  Lisa tells Teresa that they’re off to the church to be married, because at least SHE wasn’t in the count’s bedroom. Teresa produces the scarf. The wedding is probably not happening.

More singing at each other. The entire village has gathered and poor Elvino does not know what to do. He is apparently very cute and not very smart. He asks Count Rodolfo who to believe (because since both women were in his room he should be the authority, clearly). Rodolfo insists that Amina is innocent and then points to the upper window where Amina appears. She climbs out the window and sleepwalks along the rooftop while the entire village fails to breathe.

Things turn out for Amina and Elvino after all. We have no idea what happens to Lisa.

Here’s what the Met did with it:

Instead of a Swiss village, it’s set in a rehearsal space in New York. It’s kind of a Noises Off thing, where the company is rehearsing La Sonnambula and the two leads are also engaged and living the plot of La Sonnambula off stage.

Because it’s opera and therefore SCRIPTURE, they can’t go changing the libretto to fit the new plot. So imagine reading the lines and fitting them into a different scenario. It’s kind of like playing “that’s what she said.” But with more singing.

As usual, I can’t wait.

photo: Brigitte Lacombe/Metropolitan Opera

My six year old daughter, Apple Betty, pitched an unholy fit when I went off to see Thaïs without her. Which I suppose if you are going to pitch a fit about an opera involving a courtesan and a zealot, an unholy one fits the bill. Since I officially get two passes to the Met hd opera broadcasts, I figured “meh? why not,” and took her.

A motlier group has never graced the theater, I am sure. I, of course, looked stunning. I looked stunning by ignoring my family completely and getting my own bad self ready. Apple looked her own version of stunning: unbrushed hair, striped leggings, AC/DC tour t-shirt, cowboy boots. In short, a child ignored. They let us in anyway and were remarkably gracious.

Especially since we were an hour late. According to the house manager, all we missed was a bunch of chest-pounding by the great unwashed (including but not restricted to Thomas Hampson as a very hairy Athanael). In the first act, Athanael gets all shades of worked up over Thaïs (Renée Fleming) and shan’t rest until he’s converted her whoring-soul to Christianity.

Thaïs, if you’re unaware, is a courtesan. A courtesan is a species of escort. The good ones get penthouse suites and a fat allowance to spend on entertaining and making themselves even more courtesany. Back in the day, they were expected to be conversant on such topics as politics, literature, history and the S&P 500. They were also expected to sleep with their benefactors. Duh. Except for that “conversant” bit, I think The Girls Next Door are examples of modern day courtesans.

So. Athanael (rhymes with “denial”) goes to Egypt and tells Thaïs (rhymes with “high class prostitute”) all about her eternal salvation. Remarkably, he is successful (she’s considering it as a retirement plan). In a moment of very poor judgement, he goes to her in her bedroom to convince her to come away with him. She falls to the floor in front of him, clawing him, clinging to him, begging him to make things right between her and God. All the while, he’s doing a bit of praying himself - staring straight ahead and most likely repeating “there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home….” It can’t be easy for a man of God to have Renée Fleming prostrating herself at your feet.

You’d think they could just sneak away in the morning, when the others were nursing hangovers, but no. He tells her to burn everything she owns - her palace, her jewels, even her little statue of Eros for heaven sakes. You’d think that the “burn all your earthly possessions” thing would have raised some red flags. When someone wearing a hair shirt tells you to burn your own home, it’s time to wonder if he’s been taking the voices of Snap, Crackle and Pop a little too seriously. Also, you should prepare to die in the last act.

In Act 3, Athanael checks Thaïs into a 5 star convent, where she washes away her sins. As it turns out, you can take the courtesan out of the sin, but you can’t take the sin out of the courtesan - there being not much left when you pull her out of the dryer. So she dies.

But before she dies, she has an Eliott and E.T. moment with Athanael, seducing him in a dream. I’m not suggesting that E.T. seduced Eliott in a dream. That’s really creepy. Let’s all put it from our minds. I’m saying that Athanael woke up and went “nooooooo! she’s dying!!!!!!” and went to go tell her he wanted to make beautiful baby zealots with her.

She’s all “the gates of heaven! I see angels!”

And he’s all “There is no God! Have my babies!”

What we have here, as they say, is a failure to communicate.

She dies anyway and frankly I can’t blame her. What’s he going to do? Get a job at the Alexandria Superette? Make her sleep on a rock? She’s used to dresses by Christian Lacroix (who was the costume designer). I just don’t see the part about “providing for her in the manner to which she is accustomed” working out.

Speaking of her Christian Lacroix dresses, the last one she wore was made by saturating the fabric with plaster of paris and then sculpting it. Maybe not so comfortable, but totally kick ass.

The Met broadcasts explain things like this during the intermissions. You also get to see the set changes and close ups of the orchestra pit - which is all great for people who like opera but have very short attention spans.

Apple even made it through without garnering a single dirty look from the opera aficionados around her. Which bodes well for the future of opera. It also bodes well for my ability to spell “aficionado.”

fin

photo: Brigitte Lacombe/Metropolitan Opera